The Dark Autist… Exposed

If an Autist falls in the forest…

and no one is around to hear it… does he/she/ey make a sound?

Who is the Dark Autist?

Not the person wearing the mask. Not the one trying to fit in. Seeking to impress. Looking for approval… employment… donations….

Not the one choosing words carefully.

The Dark Autist is the autistic person… alone.

The thoughts… The dreams… The feelings….

When no one else is around.

Johnny Profane (John M. Knapp)

I’m Johnny Profane. 66. Pretend Rock Star…

Cuz it’s ALL cosplay.

I was born before autism was invented… More or less. 1953. Long before autism or Asperger’s were widely discussed in medicine or pop culture. That didn’t happen til the 70s.

I’ve been here for the WHOLE movie.

First, I played That Know-It-All Kid. Then I was a Genius. Til I was a Fairy, Nerd, Spaz, Homo, Geek, Weird, Loner, Schizo, Maniac, Black Sheep, Loser, Ex, Ex, Ex, finally Autist…

Been a meditation teacher, cult member, typesetter, editor, magazine publisher, ad agency owner, marketing veep, non-profit activist, 3-time grad student, 3-time husband, homeless, mental health counselor, substance abuse counselor, cult counselor, homeless, singer/songwriter, homeless, fast-food clerk, Pretend Rock Star…

I’ve talked with Bill Gates. Argued with Bill Joy. Touched the Maharishi. Met anonymous geniuses in university cubicles, office bull pens, trailer parks, homeless on the street…


I have no credentials to offer. At least none that matter anymore to me.

So I offer my life in this blog.

It’s all I have left to give.

If you’re #ND, #Neurodivergent, #Neurolurker…

Or are just wondering…

I predict you will recognize a lot of what you read here.

Live. Laff. Love. Rebel…

-John M. Knapp – Social Anarchist…

#AutisticAF #ActuallyAutistic #AllAutistics #AutisticElder #AutisticSurvivor #AutisticJoy #Neurodiverse #ND #Neurodivergent #Neurolurker

Support #ActuallyAutistic artists, musicians, writers…

Like, Share, or Comment, so search engines share more autistic voices!


  1. Hi Johnny, saw your blog linked from the Aspergian. I was diagnosed three years ago, and your blog strikes a louder chord for me than anything else I’ve read since then. You’ve nailed the experience so accurately that I now want to point everyone I know I’ve here and say, “Read this guy’s stuff, please, so I don’t have to explain this shit.”

    I’m about to turn 50 and I’m sorry you had to live through the crap that you did; I relate very hard. I’ve been fired by a lot of interesting people. I never ended up homeless, but that’s because I am female and nobody is scared of me.

    Anyhow, I wanted to wave at you from the ether and say hi to a fellow traveler.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sister girlfriend! G-d that feeling of connection is powerful.

      I’m working on an amateur graphic-novel style series to run occasionally, the Dark Autist…


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