#AutisticAF

For some, living autistic is about the exhausting, everlasting… futile… quest for…

Perfection.

“If I say it just right, they’ll understand.”

“If I watch even more carefully, I’ll know what they’re thinking.”

“If I just study a little harder, they won’t be disappointed.”

“If I remember how to act just so, they’ll love me.”

Another of my written Songs without a Singer. (More here.)

Letting Go

Beat: Springsteen Rock Chant

Intro
Being born left its mark
That’s how I came to fear the dark…

Verse
Far back as i know
I fear letting go
Always looking for that shortcut
I fear letting go
Driving toward god knows what
Fearing letting go
Dark lightning in your gut
From fear of letting go
Letting go
Letting go
God i need
To let go…
Everybody knows
I need to let go.

Verse
Been saying lately
Got to unwind
Got the heart… not the chops
I got to unwind
Need a dream detox
Got to unwind
Broken dancer in a jewel box
Got to unwind
Got to unwind
Got to unwind
Good gawd almighty
I gots to unwind…
Everybody knows
I gots to unwind.

Verse
In the moist dark night
A toddler memory, I feared the light
Shadowed crack under mommy’s door
G-d knows, I fear the light
Black thunder of a winter storm
I fear the trembling light
Mantra falling in a mind at war
Terrified of that light
Fear that light
Fear that light
As this dream ends
I fear that light
More than psych ward night
I fear that blinding light

Outro
Being born left its mark
That’s how I came to fear the dark…

Waking, startled, late in life
I came to cower at the light.

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