Symptoms – #AutisticAF

Gallery: Autistic Victims of Violence

Photo. "Mother of Ilyad Hallak, autist, Meets the Police, 5/30,2020." Low-resolution version of original digital illustration. (c) 2021 John M. Knapp, Creative Commons Non-Commercial Usage. High-resolution wallpaper & poster files free to premium subscribers.

I’m autistic. And I can’t DO social groups.

I don’t think I’m alone. So, I’m launching a hashtag. #GroupProcessingDisorder.

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AutisticAF Out Loud: Let’s Explore #AutisticJoy… Together.

Full-color photo of young black boy dancing happily in a sprinkler. Water droplets spray the air. Big grin. In the blurred background a young girl carries a flag in a picnic setting. "Let's Explore Autistic Joy... Together. On #AutisticJoy, Personality & Being in the Flow...S1e2. 'Lost to the world but found in himself.'"

I’m autistic. And I can’t DO social groups.

I don’t think I’m alone. So, I’m launching a hashtag. #GroupProcessingDisorder.

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#AutisticRave: Group Processing Disorder. It’s a Thing.

"NO," original digital illustration. In yellows, gold, and dark green. In foreground a young person holds their hand out toward the camera, signaling, "no." In the background an adult figure uses both hands to signal, "No." Both are wearing dark gray hoodies.

I’m autistic. And I can’t DO social groups.

I don’t think I’m alone. So, I’m launching a hashtag. #GroupProcessingDisorder.

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Imaginary Friends…? This Autistic Kid’s Bestie… Dissociation, Pt 1

"Imaginary Friends," an original digital illustration. In blues, verdigris, greens & browns... A real, young Black child hugs a ghostly child in a forest background.

Spacing out… Zoning out… Most autists do it… to survive boring conversations, family get-togethers…

So dissociation’s a good thing, Til it starts screwing with living your life. Or sense of reality.

Content note: mild profanity, one bleeped expletive relating to intellecutal disability.

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“#AutisticRave: Life after Diagnosis. Joy… and Horror.

"Approaching Owensburg," an original digital illustration. A diptych of the same country road, dawn & dusk. In left panel, a fenced in field on left, across a country road, a large looming oak tree in tones of yellow, rose, brown & black. In right panel, the same scene reveresed, in tones of blue, green, black and brown.

Wanna know what autistic life looks like… at 70?

Joy… and horror.

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“Look Doc… You Just Don’t GET #AutisticJoy”

An #AutisticElder looks at the Big Picture. Life, death & dementia… the whole ball of wax. Autistic style.

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Designing My Home Around Adult Autism: Pt. 2 – 7 Survival Principles

AutisticAF Out Loud cover art for S02E07.Top frame: Headline reads, "New Episode, Designing My Home Around Adult Autism: Part 1, Making It Work". It features an illustration of an elderly gentleman, reading from a script and wearing sunglasses & fedora hat. Bottom frame: "No Direction Home 2," original digital illustration in a graphic-novel influenced style of a row classical Greek pillars vanishing into the distance--showed in reverse colors.

Finally learning to create a place of safety, peace, and passionate work…

Did more than keep me out of psych wards. It kept me alive. No joke.

If you’re autistic, love one, work with some… or just can’t figure out if you are one… You really, *really * need to think about where you live…

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“Designing My Home Around Adult Autism: Pt. 2 – 7 Survival Principles” To download, click on 3 dots at left.

Designing My Home Around Adult Autism: Pt. 1 – Making It Work for Me

What do *most* humans want from a new home? To entertain & impress guests.

Honestly…? Autistic-as-f***.me has *different* priorities.More

Season 2, Episode 7. Listen or download at 3 dots.

Inside Autism & Eye Contact: How It Feels… How to Deal with the Terror

“Her eyes. So big… Then… Bigger…. Brighter… Enormous…

“I can’t hear anything but a roar. Spinning. I’m going to fall… Terror. That’s what eye contact feels like…” w/transcript. More

Season 2, Episode 3. Listen or download at 3 dots.

Selective Mutism: I Have No Mouth. But I Must SCREAM… s02e03/transcript

AutisticAF Out Loud cover art for S02E03.Top frame: Headline reads, "New Episode, Selective Mutism: I Have No Mouth. But I Must SCREAM...". It features an illustration of an elderly gentleman, reading from a script and wearing sunglasses & fedora hat. Bottom frame: "I Cannot Scream," original digital illustration in a graphic-novel influenced style of a young boy's mouth, open, screaming.

“Are you okay? Are you okay? ARE YOU OKAY?” Like they’re talking to a Japanese tourist. And if they just shout loud enough… he’ll understand English…

But I’m autistic. And can’t speak. When they unload me from the ambulance & into the ER… (podcast & transript)

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Season 2, Episode 3. Listen or download at 3 dots.

“The Cavalry Never Comes”: Sexual Assault & An Autistic Life, Pt. 2 s02e02

AutisticAF Out Loud cover art for S02E02.Top frame: Headline reads, "New Episode, The Cavalry Never Comes: Sexual Assault & Autism, Pt. 2". It features an illustration of an elderly gentleman, reading from a script and wearing sunglasses & fedora hat. Bottom frame: "Not Everyone Was My Friend," original digital illustration in a graphic-novel influenced style of a priest leering. From a frame grab of Mystic River.

You can help your autistic loved ones feel safer from sexual abuse & assault…

It starts with honesty about yourself… and them.More

Play now: click on arrow at left — Download: 3 dots at right.

“Not Everyone Was My Friend”: Sexual Assault & An Autistic Life s02e01

Cover art for "Not Everyone Was My Friend: Sexual Assault & an Autistic Life": Headline reads "New Episode, Not Everyone Was My Friend: Sexual Assault & Autism. Top illustration shows elderly gentleman in sunglasses & fedora hat. Bottom illustration shows a child of indeterminate gender & race cowering in a dark corner.

There’s not much research on sexual abuse of autistic children… much less adults.

So here’s my story. CN: Explicit. w/transcript.

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Confessions of an #AdultAutistic Anxiety Junkie – Stimming, Overload & Anxiety, Pt.3

Podcast & transcript: What better holiday to discuss adult autistic anxiety…

Than Colonialist Thanksgiving….?

For many, a freaking minefield of social obligation, exhausting small talk & grinding anxiety.More

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Zen & the Autistic Art of the Stim: Autistic Stimming, Overload & Anxiety, Pt. 2

"Art of the Stim," original digital illustration. A young girl holds a bright green fidget spinning toy.

Dear autist, you are hard-wired for #AutisticJoy.

Stimming is part of that wiring… Podcast with Transcript.More

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Autistic Stimming, Overload & Anxiety, Pt. 1: NOISE – A Spoken Song

"Scream"... Original digital illustration, after Hitchcock's Psycho. Image contains a digital painting of actress Janet Leigh's famous wide-mouthed scream in the shower.

Let me bring you inside my world. Experience autistic sensory overload…More

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How to Get Diagnosed #ActuallyAutistic… in Just 26 Years! – Podcast s1e8

"How To Get Diagnosed #ActuallyAutistic... In Just 26 Years!" - AutisticAF Out Loud, Episode 8. Image: Top: Picture of older autistic man, wearing a Fedora, with caption "S1 - Episode 8, How to Get Diagnosed #ActuallyAutistic... In Just 26 Years! AutisticAF Out Loud Podcast. Bottom: Dark illustration, black, red & brown, of a screaming zombie's mouth reflected in a mirror.

First off… This is NOT a poor-me story…

It’s a journey to #AutisticJoy… story.More

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Autistic Shutdowns: Believe I’ll Ch-Ch-Change My Shirt – Podcast s1e7-B

"Zombie in the Mirror," original dark illustration, black, red & brown, of a screaming zombie's mouth reflected in a mirror.

“Well, we all have meltdowns, don’t we, sweetie…?”

Ummmmm… Actually…? No.More

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#AutisticJoy, Orgasmic Learning… & Ecstasy – Podcast: s1e7

Picture of Podcast title & dark, brown xray of boy's head being struck by lightning.

Let’s dive into the most universal autistic experience of all… and it’s one hiding right in front of your face.

Even if no one talks about it…More

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Comic Book Hero: Surviving Bullying – A Spoken Song (bonus podcast)

Cover art for the AutisticAF Out Loud podcast. Features a photo of Johnny Profane Âû in black fedora, sun glasses, reading a script. Listen or download here, or links to Spotify and others below.

How did autistic & other neurodiverse kids survive the Dark Ages before IEPs, 504 plans, targeted therapy, noise-canceling headphones…?

Here’s some brutal autistic truth-teling for ya… (with transcript)More

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Autistic Masking as Performance Art, s1e5

Ever hear of autistic masking?

If you’re wondering if you ARE autistic… this is gonna sound strangely familiar… (podcast w/transcript).More

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