Accomodating – #AutisticAF

Promising Me Beautiful Lies: How Hollywood Failed My Autism

Hollywood sells flattering lies. Unrealistic fantasies of wealth, power, breaking taboos…

Nothing that screens ever showed me prepared me for an #autistic life…More

How To Be Strong, Fearless & Actually Autistic… Online

Remember being a kid? Pressured to make friends… with everybody?

We. Don’t. Have. To Do. That… Not anymore.More

We Need an Autistic Education… Based on Autistic Natures

"T'aint Teaching, If They T'aint Larning." Original digital illustration. Elderly professor stands centered in front of blackboard covered with math symblols. He wears thin-rimmed glasses, beard, sports coat & tie. He's started by a thrown paper airplane heads for him from upper left corner. In dark tones.

I used to think I grew up in the Autistic Dark Ages. When they used precision instruments of torture. Ya know, to get medieval on your autistic ass.

But I’m not so sure anymore. Seems neurodivergent kids go through worse today.More

Promising Me Beautiful Lies: How Hollywood Failed My Autism

"Beautiful Lies," an original digital illustration. In the foreground Humphrey Bogart kisses Vivien Leigh. After a famous scene in "Gone with the Wind." Fleming, V., Cukor, G., & Wood, S. 1939, MGM.

Nothing that ANY screen ever showed me… not effing “reality” TV… prepared me for life. As an autistic.More

Season 3: Love, Politics & Faking Normal: 3 New Autistic Myths

Season 3! FINALLY here! A black & white photo of Johnny Profane Âû. In the center, he wears black headphones and a black & white plaid shirt. The words "AutisticAF Out Loud" & "Host" hang at left.

Declaring Season 3‼️ Things are gonna be different around here… from now on.

I’ve got 3 stories for ya… “Living Unmasked Is a Political Act Autism,” “Love & My Friend Billy: A New Epic Myth,” “Faking Normal… Writing, Masking, Autism & Me.”

So, let’s rock n roll…More

Season 3, Episode 1: Push ▶️ to Listen, 3 dots at right to download.

Autism, Love & My Friend Billy: A New Epic Myth

"Friends Out of Time." Dark illustration of two elder gentlemen sharing a laugh.

In my autistic world… a friend is a precious thing.

I can’t afford to judge that fragile treasure by status, education, wealth… or what they can do for me.More

Faking Normal: How I Mask My Writing Disorder… to Bring You Autistic Joy

"The Masked Author," original digital illustration. An elderly author's hand holds a quill pen. The hand hovers over a journal, about to write. On the desk, a costume mask & muzzle stare at the author. The hand and journal are in bright light. Author's robe is gold-colored. Background is deeply shadowed in blue & verdigris.

Writing while autistic? Blogs, tweets, articles…?

For me… every bit as hard as autistic masking… faking “normal.” But it has payoffs…More

Content Warning: #Autistic in a Cosmic Mood

I’m an Autistic Elder. 70.

Wanna know how I rediscovered my Autistic Joy?

Most powerful thing I’ve ever done… to better my autistic life. More

#AutisticRave: Rediscovering Autistic Joy as an #AutisticAdult

"Rediscovering Autistic Joy as an #AutisticAdult." Center: Elderly autistic male wearing headphones in bues & pinks, Background: large eyes in shades of dark blue.

I’m an Autistic Elder. 70.

Wanna know how I rediscovered my Autistic Joy?

Most powerful thing I’ve ever done… to better my autistic life. More

Gallery: Autistic Victims of Violence

Photo. "Mother of Ilyad Hallak, autist, Meets the Police, 5/30,2020." Low-resolution version of original digital illustration. (c) 2021 John M. Knapp, Creative Commons Non-Commercial Usage. High-resolution wallpaper & poster files free to premium subscribers.

I’m autistic. And I can’t DO social groups.

I don’t think I’m alone. So, I’m launching a hashtag. #GroupProcessingDisorder.

More

AutisticAF Out Loud: Let’s Explore #AutisticJoy… Together.

Full-color photo of young black boy dancing happily in a sprinkler. Water droplets spray the air. Big grin. In the blurred background a young girl carries a flag in a picnic setting. "Let's Explore Autistic Joy... Together. On #AutisticJoy, Personality & Being in the Flow...S1e2. 'Lost to the world but found in himself.'"

I’m autistic. And I can’t DO social groups.

I don’t think I’m alone. So, I’m launching a hashtag. #GroupProcessingDisorder.

More

#AutisticRave: Group Processing Disorder. It’s a Thing.

"NO," original digital illustration. In yellows, gold, and dark green. In foreground a young person holds their hand out toward the camera, signaling, "no." In the background an adult figure uses both hands to signal, "No." Both are wearing dark gray hoodies.

I’m autistic. And I can’t DO social groups.

I don’t think I’m alone. So, I’m launching a hashtag. #GroupProcessingDisorder.

More

Imaginary Friends…? This Autistic Kid’s Bestie… Dissociation, Pt 1

"Imaginary Friends," an original digital illustration. In blues, verdigris, greens & browns... A real, young Black child hugs a ghostly child in a forest background.

Spacing out… Zoning out… Most autists do it… to survive boring conversations, family get-togethers…

So dissociation’s a good thing, Til it starts screwing with living your life. Or sense of reality.

Content note: mild profanity, one bleeped expletive relating to intellecutal disability.

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“#AutisticRave: Life after Diagnosis. Joy… and Horror.

"Approaching Owensburg," an original digital illustration. A diptych of the same country road, dawn & dusk. In left panel, a fenced in field on left, across a country road, a large looming oak tree in tones of yellow, rose, brown & black. In right panel, the same scene reveresed, in tones of blue, green, black and brown.

Wanna know what autistic life looks like… at 70?

Joy… and horror.

More

“Look Doc… You Just Don’t GET #AutisticJoy”

An #AutisticElder looks at the Big Picture. Life, death & dementia… the whole ball of wax. Autistic style.

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Designing My Home Around Adult Autism: Pt. 2 – 7 Survival Principles

AutisticAF Out Loud cover art for S02E07.Top frame: Headline reads, "New Episode, Designing My Home Around Adult Autism: Part 1, Making It Work". It features an illustration of an elderly gentleman, reading from a script and wearing sunglasses & fedora hat. Bottom frame: "No Direction Home 2," original digital illustration in a graphic-novel influenced style of a row classical Greek pillars vanishing into the distance--showed in reverse colors.

Finally learning to create a place of safety, peace, and passionate work…

Did more than keep me out of psych wards. It kept me alive. No joke.

If you’re autistic, love one, work with some… or just can’t figure out if you are one… You really, *really * need to think about where you live…

More

“Designing My Home Around Adult Autism: Pt. 2 – 7 Survival Principles” To download, click on 3 dots at left.

Designing My Home Around Adult Autism: Pt. 1 – Making It Work for Me

What do *most* humans want from a new home? To entertain & impress guests.

Honestly…? Autistic-as-f***.me has *different* priorities.More

Season 2, Episode 7. Listen or download at 3 dots.

Inside Autism & Eye Contact: How It Feels… How to Deal with the Terror

“Her eyes. So big… Then… Bigger…. Brighter… Enormous…

“I can’t hear anything but a roar. Spinning. I’m going to fall… Terror. That’s what eye contact feels like…” w/transcript. More

Season 2, Episode 3. Listen or download at 3 dots.

Selective Mutism: I Have No Mouth. But I Must SCREAM… s02e03/transcript

AutisticAF Out Loud cover art for S02E03.Top frame: Headline reads, "New Episode, Selective Mutism: I Have No Mouth. But I Must SCREAM...". It features an illustration of an elderly gentleman, reading from a script and wearing sunglasses & fedora hat. Bottom frame: "I Cannot Scream," original digital illustration in a graphic-novel influenced style of a young boy's mouth, open, screaming.

“Are you okay? Are you okay? ARE YOU OKAY?” Like they’re talking to a Japanese tourist. And if they just shout loud enough… he’ll understand English…

But I’m autistic. And can’t speak. When they unload me from the ambulance & into the ER… (podcast & transript)

More

Season 2, Episode 3. Listen or download at 3 dots.

☝️✌️👉ShortShort: Stumbling into #AutisticJoy… Backwards

Most folks feel they achieve their best in their youth. Then slowly decline as they age.

Not #AutisticAF me…More